If you really want a healthy relationship, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

We all want our relationships to thrive, but sometimes bad habits get in the way.

It’s not about perfection but about progress and understanding what makes a relationship truly healthy.

And often, this means recognizing behaviors that might be doing more harm than good.

Ready to find out what these 10 behaviors are? Let’s jump in.

1. Holding onto grudges

I’ve been there, and maybe you have too: that moment when a small disagreement spirals out because I’m still hung up on something from two weeks ago.

We all make mistakes, but holding onto past errors like they’re trophies?

That’s a quick path to resentment.

For the sake of our happiness and the health of our relationships, it’s crucial to learn to forgive.

I’ve found that when I let go of grudges, not only does it bring peace to my relationship, but it also lightens my own heart.

So, the next time you find yourself holding onto a past grievance, ask yourself if it’s truly worth the weight.

2. Always being the “cool” partner

I once believed that if I played the “cool” partner – you know, the one who’s always chill, never “nagging”, and acting like everything’s always okay – I’d be doing my relationship a favor.

Boy, was I wrong.

While it might seem like being perpetually easygoing is the key to a drama-free relationship, it can actually stifle honest communication.

By constantly trying to be the “cool” one, I was inadvertently suppressing my true feelings and needs. It’s perfectly okay to voice concerns, have boundaries, and share feelings.

Authenticity, even when it’s not “cool”, makes a relationship healthy. Relationships thrive on honesty, not just easy-going vibes.

3. Believing love is enough

It’s a romantic notion, one we’ve seen in countless movies and read in books: the idea that love, on its own, can conquer all.

But here’s an interesting fact: a study found that couples with skills like open communication and conflict resolution have a higher satisfaction rate in their relationships than those who rely solely on their passionate love for each other.

While love is undoubtedly a pillar, relationships also require effort, understanding, and skill-building. It’s essential to nurture both the emotional connection and the practical aspects of partnership.

So, while love is a powerful force, remember it’s just one piece of the relationship puzzle.

4. Avoiding difficult conversations

I’ll admit it: I used to be a master of sidestepping touchy subjects.

If I sensed a conversation could lead to discomfort or disagreement, I’d change the topic or make an excuse to exit.

I thought I was keeping the peace, but in reality, I was building walls.

Over time, I realized that by avoiding difficult conversations, I was missing out on opportunities to truly connect and understand my partner.

It’s in these moments, where we face challenges head-on, that relationships grow deeper and stronger.

Now, I remind myself that it’s okay to lean into the discomfort.

Because on the other side? That’s where understanding and growth happen.

5. Comparing to other couples

I used to scroll through my social media feed and see snapshots of couples on their latest adventure or just looking effortlessly happy.

It was easy for me to fall into the trap of comparison, wondering why my relationship didn’t look like that picture-perfect image.

But here’s the thing: those snapshots are just moments, not the full story.

Every relationship has its highs and lows. By comparing our relationships to mere glimpses of others, we risk devalue what makes our own relationships unique.

Now, I remind myself that what truly matters is our happiness and growth, not how we stack up against others’ highlight reels.

6. Striving for 50/50 in everything

It’s a common belief that for a relationship to be truly equal, everything must be split 50/50: chores, bills, emotional support, you name it.

I once held onto this notion tightly, thinking that if we weren’t always meeting halfway, something was off.

However, life isn’t always that neat. There will be times when one partner may need to carry a bit more of the load, and vice versa.

The essence of partnership isn’t about exact division but about balance over time.

Sometimes it might be 70/30, other times 40/60.

The key is ensuring that both partners feel supported and valued, even if the scales aren’t always perfectly even.

7. Believing time spent equals quality time

Many believe that the more time you spend with your partner, the stronger your bond.

But here’s a surprising fact: Research found that the amount of time parents spend with their children doesn’t necessarily correlate with better outcomes for the kids. The quality of the time matters more.

Similarly, in romantic relationships, it’s not about the sheer number of hours but the qualities of the moments shared.

It’s entirely possible to be with someone for an entire day and not truly connect.

Prioritizing meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and genuine engagement, even in shorter durations, can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling bond than merely “logging hours” together.

8. Ignoring your own needs

I used to think putting my partner’s needs above mine was a sign of unconditional love.

But over time, I learned a crucial lesson: neglecting my own needs wasn’t selflessness, it was self-sabotage.

In any relationship, it’s essential to ensure that while you’re being there for your partner, you’re also looking out for yourself.

It’s not about being selfish, but understanding that a relationship thrives when both individuals are mentally and emotionally healthy.

Don’t forget to check in with yourself regularly and speak up when you need support. By caring for yourself, you’re also better equipped to care for your relationship.

9. Thinking communication equals talking

We often hear “communication is key,” and I used to think this meant I should always be talking and expressing myself.

But I learned that sometimes, the best communication doesn’t involve words at all.

It’s about truly listening without immediately formulating a response. It’s about understanding body language, recognizing silent cues, or simply being present in shared moments of silence.

Sometimes, the deepest understandings come from a shared experience, a knowing glance, or just sitting side by side.

So, while talking things out is valuable, don’t underestimate the power of silence and attentive listening in strengthening a relationship.

10. Chasing the “honeymoon phase”

At the start of a relationship, everything feels fresh and electrifying – it’s often termed the “honeymoon phase.”

I remember longing for that initial thrill every time a new relationship settled into routine.

But pinning the success of a relationship on perpetual butterflies can be misleading.

True, lasting relationships are built on a foundation that goes beyond the initial sparks. It’s about the comfort in shared silences, and the beauty of navigating life’s ups and downs together.

Embracing each phase of a relationship, rather than longing for past moments, allows us to genuinely appreciate the layers that come with time.

Wrapping up

In a heathy relationship, it’s not just about what we do, but often about the behaviors who choose to let go of.

By recognizing and adjusting certain behaviors, we pave the way for better, more fulfilling relationships.

Here’s the bottom line: relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all, but ditching some habits can make a world of difference.